The Picture As It Becomes

But He knoweth the way that I take: when He hath tried me I shall come forth like gold.

Job 23:10

It's like translating: like learning, only less me.

The unsettling urge to rescue

What falls away. Because all I know-

I am unlearning. Seeing is closer to it

(closer to being able to breath as ) I

Understand the cracks, the holes,

And gaps ARE the picture

as it becomes. And as I surrender.

Seeing is closer to it.

See, I keep piling up

The broken pieces around me thinking

That's what will protect, will defend me.

But the garbage is not

keeping me from sinking.

I cry for what's taken away.

Blind to what you are revealing.

The promise that "you know" means more than

My pretty garbage. Its stronger than my hands,

Wrapped around what used to make sense.

Its right, not familiar.

Clean, not common.

If You know - then, this is worth everything.

So. What's lower than weak?

What's higher than calm?

It is not what's left, Its what

is being revealed.

Letting go of my pretty garbage -

and trusting

( in ways, with means)

by forgetting what I call control.